One Friday has been altered, slightly, to better serve readers with lower resolution monitors.

As well, recently, I have taken the time to ensure my MySpace profile will induce seizures in any viewer afflicted with epilepsy.

Overall, the system has been far more stable since the reinstall. No crash since that install, really—it wasn’t wasted time.

And, thinking about it, after I felt better this evening, I realized, this has to be—this is the first time in four days shy of two months—the first time since I was lucky enough to kiss you, in other words—this is the first time that I’ve felt down. Then, quickly, it just… went away.

Oh, Erika, I think you’re having an undue influence on me. I do believe you’re making me: happy.

I am sitting here, typing on a completely fresh installation of Windows XP. I had one crash during the installation; the intermittent problem which prompted this reinstall must, then, be hardware.

I had a low level freakout today. Being here at my parents’ house, with all the noise and the distraction and the lack of any place I could go and—just be in my own space. Anxiety washed over me. All my doubts started cascading. The certainty of failure in every part of my life, abject and total—doom crept up my spine and infected my mind. I made myself sit on my parents’ porch and watch the sunset. I forced myself to imagine myself not just rootless, as I am now, but really homeless—and what I would do. What inner resources I would employ, what abilities I would engage. I realized, thinking about this, exploring this—fantasy, if you can call it that—that these are the same resources and abilities that I need to employ now. I remembered that I really do have these reserves; that I only need to utilize them. My anxiety subsided. I felt better. Returned to purpose.

I know this has happened before, though. The intermittent problem which prompted this refresh must, well… it must be hardware.

I Love You, Erika Kennelley

A prankster marked up my bedroom door;
Formed in painter’s tape, one word
In three big, blue letters: S E X.

Tonight I removed the S.

Overall, I have only one regret:
I should have read more books while I was here.