Are you sure? Yes I’m Sure Down Deep Inside.

I don’t cry because of sad things. I cry because of happy ones. Movies, songs, dreams, people. Couples find their hearts together at 24 frames per second. Rhythm, melody, beat, verse chorus verse of shared joy. Nighttime fantasies of holding hands, kissing smiling lips under warm blue skies. Women in the full bloom of pregnancy, and brightly spirited toddlers tumbling over brightly colored playgrounds.

Taunting visions of happiness lost or never achieved. Hopes drowned in a cascade of tears. I don’t cry because of sad things. I cry because of happy ones. Yesterday it was raining, and I was fine, but today the sun is shining, and here I am writing this.

It might sound silly
For me to think childish thoughts like these
But I’m so tired of acting tough
And I’m gonna do what I please

My heart was shattered when I was young, by the most beautiful girl in the world. She took a piece away, and never returned it. When I put what I had back together, my heart was smaller than before, but my dreams were the same full size. Every day since then my heart has burst, over and over and over, trying to hold those dreams in. I’ve gone out with other girls, hoping they might have the glue that would keep my heart together, but it’s never held.

I don’t think she knows she has this piece. I don’t know if she even would have thought it worth keeping. I would do anything, I would be anything, for her. But I doubt I’ll ever get the chance.

The truth is: I don’t want her to give my piece of heart back.

The truth is: I want to give her all the pieces she left behind.

March 15, 2008 1:03 PM personal